Losing you brother still feels like a bad dream… This week has made me realize that every time I lose someone I love it’s like a brick in your pocket that you carry forever and the thing that eventually strikes you about the death of someone you love is the permanence. When that hits, there is an overpowering sense of loneliness and aloneness. Those wounds do not remain raw, not forever, but they do remain.

You never get over it because ‘it’ is the person you loved. The pain stops, there are new people, but the gap never closes. How could it? The particularness of someone who mattered enough to grieve over is not made anodyne by death.

I’ve thought a lot about death recently, the finality of it, the argument ending in mid-air. One of us hadn’t finished, why did the other one go? And why without warning? Even death after a long illness is without warning. The moment you had prepared for so carefully took you by storm.

I cannot say, and I will not say
That he is dead. He is just away.
With a cheery smile, and a wave of the hand,

He has wandered into an unknown land
And left us dreaming how very fair
It needs must be, since he lingers there.
And you—oh you, who the wildest yearn
For an old-time step, and the glad return,
Think of him faring on, as dear
In the love of There as the love of Here.
Think of him still as the same. I say,
He is not dead—he is just away.

Time doesn’t heal all wounds. We both know that’s bullshit; it comes from people who have nothing comforting or original to say.

Sadly enough, the most painful goodbyes are the ones that are left unsaid and never explained

It hurts when they’re gone. And it doesn’t matter if it’s slow or fast, whether it’s a long-drawn-out disease or an unexpected accident. When they’re gone the world turns upside down and you’re left holding on, trying not to fall off.

Never take life for granted. Savor every sunrise, because no one is promised tomorrow…or even the rest of today
@DTEFLON

Kristoff, you were there for me on times when I can say that I went thru the most darkness and even though you were the worst at times to get a hold of you always knew when to show up for me when it mattered the most…Oh how I am gonna miss our lunches and dinners was always an adventure …Just don’t know how to pick up the pieces without you man ..I would have done anything to take away the pain you were dealing with …You made me laugh when I needed it most and when I went thru my darkest hour you stay with me to help me find my way back to the light thru the darkness for the past 17yrs..  I miss you so much man This fucking hurts so bad

You were my afro Samurai brother from another

Few men had a unique strength, true realness, and heart that Kristoff had and lived every single minute of every day impacting everyone he met and millions who he inspired.

Knowing him for over 17 years I can tell you you won’t find another like him ever in this business or in this lifetime

I sit here going thru our daily tweets and text messages and it still doesn’t seem real…

I lost a brother a friend a mentor my heart is 💔 The world lost a light and today feels so much darker. I’m a biz full of snakes and shitty humans who pray for your downfall KSJ was the real one who clapped in your victories and stood by you thru your downfalls He put everyone first and himself second which made our bond so close because we were the same in that we and it was nice to know someone truly had your back and he always did And I don’t know how I go on without the him

Trying to sort thru the pain how I will no longer be hearing your voice, my brother, seeing your face at CBS in your dressing room with that dang bottle of Soul Glow I used to bug you non stop about and sharing so many laughs over lunch and dinner …How do you sum up 17 years of brotherhood into words of loss Someone tell me this is not real and it’s just a dream

This was one of our favorite spots we ate lunch and breakfast on a regular whenever we hung out at the Marmalade Cafe in Calabasas CA

MARCH 9TH TODAY WE GATHERED TO SAY OUR FINAL GOOD BYE TO YOU BUT FOR ME IT’S I WILL SEE YOU LATER …

If you like to leave a personal message of condolences to the St John Family Lola, Paris,Allana  and his fiance Kseniya please leave a message in the comment box below

D-Teflon,Lola St John,Allana St John,Shemar Moore

They need your love and support My heart is heavy for them and I knew KSJ the man and for many of you who didn’t get to know him in the way I did and his other closes friends and family He was the guy that lifted you up and always was there for everyone and always put himself 2nd……

DAVID SHARK FRALICK SHEMAR MOORE DANIEL GODDARD JOSHUA MORROW KATE LINDER BRYTON JAMES DTEFLON

The world truly lost greatness.

ERIC BRAEDEN DTEFLON

Kristoff St John

I forever stay looking up at you Brother I love you and I will see you again.