OFF DA RECORD BY DTEFLON
LOYALTY VS KINDESS VS WEAKNESS
I have come to realize the foundation of finding true love with someone is To fall in love share your love & get hurt in the pursuit of happiness till you find the right person but why does it involve going thru so much pain in the process with the wrong one until the right one appears but no matter how hard the pain is one thing that should never change is You have to know what your worth to get what your worth
Loyalty is probably my favorite descriptive trait for both myself, and those I would like to surround myself with. I take immense pride in the trait within myself and cherish those, both professionally and personally who epitomize it as well. Unfortunately, genuine loyalty, not only when it is convenient, is rare to find these days.
Generally speaking, people are loyal until truly tested, and then self-interest and self-preservation rule. However, I ran into a girlfriend whose circumstances made me re-evaluate my stance on unconditional loyalty. My girl hasn’t always made the best choices when it comes to men, but I have always had great respect for the loyalty that she has displayed in those relationships and to family and friends, even in the most difficult of circumstances. She is a very attractive woman, with boundless options, but when the father of her infant child went on an unpaid state-sponsored vacation she held him down, kept the family going, and never wavered in her commitment to him for nearly five years.
However, there was no happy ending to that story because shortly after he came out, he cheated, conceiving with another, and the relationship ended less than amicably. My friend never expressed regret over her decision to stay true to a man that obviously was undeserving of that level of respect. Yet, any bitterness she felt was restricted to his inept attitude toward maintaining support and communication with their child. After a year or two of discreet dating that always left her uncomfortable, my friend settled into another relationship. The situation, while far from perfect was peppered with enough good points to progress and provide the stability that her personality craved.
However, Her partner was recently imprisoned. The state of his case is far from certain, but I realize as much as he is facing uncertainty in his life she is equally at a crossroads. Her instinct in her personality is one that dictates that she will ride out the situation to the end. While she understands that she is not responsible for any decisions that he may or may not have made, she does not believe that you leave someone in crisis. I have always admired that about her, but the circumstances are such that I believe that strength in conviction is actually imprisoning her growth and happiness.
While she had earlier suspicions, she recently found conclusive proof of him cheating with a neighbor. She agrees that disrespect from such a situation would mean the end of the relationship under normal circumstances, but his present circumstances are clouding her judgment at this time. I agree with her that you are never supposed to run when things are difficult.
Yet, I think that the first principle of loyalty is to yourself. There’s a distinction between selfish self-preservation and self-love. That love of self must take precedent over everything else. The disrespect displayed by her partner revoked all of the privileges of the loyalty she was prepared to display. I can understand not wanting to hurt him, under the circumstances, but she owes herself and her daughter the ability to move on and better their situation. Whatever she ultimately chooses, I know that she will never live in regret being who she is that loyal chick to the end.
Loyalty is an admirable trait, but in no way should a person’s loyalty be a hindrance or tool in hurting one’s self. It is a testament to people hearing or reading what they want to hear or see. Remember my strong opinions have nothing to do with passing or feeling judgmental about people. Ladies (and gentlemen) it is time that we further clarify the differences between selfishness and self-preservation. We all have or know of stories in which people are immersed in tumultuous relationships but stay because of feelings of love as well as an unwillingness to face the uncertainty of being alone and/or starting over.
Relationships are indeed difficult but can’t compare to the difficulty of breakups. Often times we perceive breakups, particularly of long-term relationships as failures, and most of us don’t want to wave a white flag calling attention to our inadequacies. We hide behind our feelings and are often reluctant to deal with the arduousness of saying goodbye to situations that we know are not the most healthy for us, but that we are most comfortable with and familiar.
As I previously mentioned. Loyalty is probably one of the most admirable traits that any person could have. However, my friend seems trapped in being branded as loyal. Now, even if her instincts tell her otherwise, she appears to not want to disappoint others or be disloyal in situations and relationships that clearly aren’t in her best interest. I say clearly, and of course, that is my subjective opinion, but in moments of complete honesty, when she feels that she isn’t being judged or put on the spot, she acknowledges that she isn’t happy. Are the circumstances surrounding her relationship the singular reason for her unhappiness? Probably not, but the relationship does hold her back from pursuing other things in her life that hold the keys to a happier and more fulfilled existence.
We settle, as people. We settle into our jobs. We settle in our relationships. We settle for answers to things that we know make no sense. The reality is that some things, like the ridiculous price of gas, are out of our control, but for the few things we can control, we often chose to take the easy way out by settling. Unfortunately, we also learn that the easy way out is really a door that only leads to greater confusion and complications.
In the end, you have to do what’s best for you but just never undervalue the importance of the first impressions you make on people. m
After all no one can ever represent your interests better than you. and remember with great power comes great responsibility and there are some people without naming names do need to understand and remember if it wasn’t for the people who buy your albums or watch your films you wouldn’t be making the living doing what you do…and all people can redeem themselves if they want to after being down … Mickey Rourke newly rejuvenated acting career after the Wrestler is proof of that people never count an old dog down till he is out and it’s not the size of the dog that wins the fight but that fight inside that old dog and for those who have tried to count me out the yet will be best to come and paybacks for lack of loyalty can come back and bite you in the ass like a rabid dog
That’s my word and it’s off Da Record Have a good night
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